Friday, April 24, 2009

Welcome Spring!

Wearing Monnie's heels:




She was so happy about these pajamas...anything Mickey is her favorite (and why no, I don't make our bed! *gasp* :




We have enjoyed planting flowers outside, playing at nearby parks, playing hopscotch, and sweeping the porches. Today it was so warm, I finally turned on our a/c. Hopefully just for a day or two...it's not summer yet! I wasn't happy to see the green pollen dust covering everything outside this morning. It just makes for a miserable day of allergies for me. Thankfully, Mike and Natalie don't have allergies. I hope Natalie stays that way!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

2 minutes ago:

Natalie spilled milk on the tablecloth.

Me: (laughing) I just washed this, dear.
Natalie: I not a deer.

LOL! I love it!

Monday, April 20, 2009

Tent-house

I "constructed" this tent at the foot of her bed this afternoon. She probably played in it for over an hour! It was neat to watch her imagination run wild.


She created a place inside the tent for her dog to sleep, eat, and drink.


We even woke Daddy up early so he could come play...with an extra set of paws I see:


Mike explaining that he can't fit in the tent:

More Fun

Natalie loves to help me with anything in the kitchen. When Mike asked her if she wanted to go play, she replied, "No Daddy, I busy helping Monnie baking!"


Painting after dinner in a book from Nani and Pop:


I love her expressions when she is concentrating:


Thursday, April 16, 2009

Test Results

The final blood test (for our recurrent pregnancy loss) came back today. It was a re-test of a specific panel that was initially elevated. It came back negative this time. Praise GOD!! What this means, is that out of the many, many tests they ran on me, nothing is abnormal. This supports the suspicion that low-progesterone is the culprit for the loss of our precious babies.

We still have to jump through a few more hoops, but this was the best news we've received in a long time. Our next pregnancy will be supported with progesterone, and hopefully end with a healthy baby in our arms.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

While we clean up dinner...

Natalie has found a new place to play!



Easter Sunday

We had a very nice day with family...I'll let the pictures explain!

Natalie finding her Easter basket before we head to church:


Quick picture of Monnie and Natalie in their Easter dresses:


Nani, Natalie, and Pop (I think her smile is wearing out at this point):


The girls:


Daddy helping Natalie keep her balance:


Another Easter basket!


Egg hunt:


Opening the eggs...such concentration!


Excited about dessert...I just missed her trying to pry off a m&m:


What is NOT pictured here, is the Easter egg hunt that Dorie had for Brad, Mike, and I. She hides (REALLY hides) eggs throughout their house that are filled with cash, gift cards, or candy. Too bad we don't have video...it got a little hilarious toward the end of the hunt!

Rabbits and eggs aside, we recognize the true meaning of this holiday, and are so humbled by God's love for us, and the sacrifice Jesus made. We are blessed!

Friday, April 10, 2009

Obedience

I was speaking with a close friend yesterday about some of my concerns and worries in life, as well as some things I struggle with. Lately, I have been battling anxiety. I get frustrated with myself b/c it's pointless and not what God wants me to struggle with. My friend said something that cut to the core of it. "Well Sarah, you've had more heartache and stress in the past 12 months than many people have in a lifetime. I would be surprised if you didn't have some anxiety."

Hmmm, possible. I have observed that conscientious people, like myself, tend to be worriers. Even as a child, I would worry. Some of it was pointless, (it was getting late at night and I still couldn't fall asleep) some of it was legitimate. (I would tearfully pray that God would not send Jesus back yet b/c my father wasn't saved--YET!) Most of the time, worrying didn't bother me, it was part of who I was, and for a long time I grew out of it. In fact, I can strongly remember my mom wishing I cared more about certain things!

The night before my grandfather's funeral (back in Jan) I had a full-blown panic attack. It is an indescribable, overwhelming sense of fear. What brought it on? Who knows. Things were slowing going downhill since the 3rd miscarriage, 4 days before Christmas. Then when Grandpa died, I think something inside of me just couldn't take anymore. I started to become afraid. When we came home, things got progressively worse for a week. I'll spare you the details, but it wasn't pretty, and I wasn't functioning. At all. Fear controlled me, and stripped me of who I was to this lump that sat on the sofa that couldn't move. I lost 12 lbs in 5 days. I didn't understand what was going on and the fear got worse. I have a picture of myself during this time and I look scary.

To try and shorten this story: I was medicated and came out of my anxious state. It was WONDERFUL, and I know my family was very relieved. They were all very understanding b/c we had been through so much. I started a program to help me overcome this anxiety myself, the goal was to be medicine-free so we could get pregnant whenever this "recurrent pregnancy loss" testing was completed. It was a great motivator for me.

I did very well coming off the medicines, and only had a few withdrawal symptoms. Then we had an attempted burglary at our home. All kinds of new fears resurfaced, and this time it was much more difficult to push them aside. I was struggling again, and something dawned on me...when was the last time I placed my worries at God's feet? When was the last time I let Him carry my burdens, my heartache, and my worries? Why is it so hard for me to give it to God? I know parts of that answer, but still haven't figured it all out yet myself. I know that I feel guilt for Christ dying for me...then to ask for more help...it's hard to not feel ashamed. I know that to let go of my heartache makes me worry that it means I'll forget my babies. To give my fear to God, is acknowledging that I can't control anything besides my own actions.

I have learned a very hard lesson as a Christian: it takes great discipline and obedience (especially for a worry-wart like myself) to place my fears at the throne of God. I am learning, and He is helping me. There is a bible verse I read over and over.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

Wow.

There is also a worship song I play over and over. These are the lyrics,

Before the Throne of God Above

Before the throne of God above
I have a strong and perfect plea,
A great high Priest whose Name is Love,
Who ever lives and pleads for me.
My name is graven on His hands,
My name is written on His heart.
I know that while in heaven He stands
No tongue can bid me thence depart,
No tongue can bid me thence depart.

When Satan tempts me to despair
And tells me of the guilt within,
Upward I look and see Him there
Who made an end to all my sin.
Because the sinless Savior died
My sinful soul is counted free,
For God, the Just, is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me,
To look on Him and pardon me.

Behold Him there, the risen Lamb,
My perfect, spotless righteousness,
The great unchangeable I AM,
The King of glory and of grace.
One with Himself, I cannot die,
My soul is purchased by His blood.
My life is hid with Christ on high,
With Christ, my Savior and my God!

One with Himself, I cannot die,
My soul is purchased by His blood.
My life is hid with Christ on high,
With Christ, my Savior and my God

This song touches me. A beautiful reminder of what we mean to God, and what's really important.

As of now, my fears come and go, but I am well. I am blessed, and thankful for this lesson of obedience.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Early Easter

We are spending this Easter with Mike's family, so I took Natalie to my parents this weekend to fit our celebration in. Their work group put together a wonderful Easter egg hunt for kids, (with other activities) and Natalie was the perfect age for it! So Saturday morning, we headed out early for a fun Easter day with Natalie and (my nephew) Chase.

Monnie and Natalie in her Easter dress:


MawMaw and Natalie:


Us three girls:


Natalie and Chase, waiting to meet the Easter bunny:


It didn't go so well:


Chase didn't have much fun either...


Coloring:


A little help from Monnie:


Cupcake walk...she was very upset she didn't win a cupcake:


Easter egg hunt:


It was WINDY that day...her pigtails were flying!


Later that evening, we had an Easter egg hunt at the house for Natalie and Chase. They are so cute together. This is definitely a favorite picture of mine:


I love this sweet little boy:


Natalie in her warm church dress on Sunday morning:

New dinnerware!

I know this is a boring post, but I am very excited about our new dishes! Mike and I had been using a set I bought on closeout the summer before my freshman year of college. (almost 8 years ago) We didn't register for any everyday dinnerware when we got married, and decided to wait to buy anything new for ourselves. I recently started looking for ideas, and found a deal. I like how simple yet pretty this set is.




Magic House

A couple weeks ago, we took Natalie to the Magic House for some entertainment.

She loved the sand table, but wasn't thrilled about getting sand on her hands:














I thought this was a good idea to make a wild picture. Yes it did, but it took me forever and a lot of pain to get the tangles out of my hair. YOW. Never again.


This was Natalie's favorite spot...I love the excitement on her face!

Playtime Pics

I am getting behind on the blogging again. Here are some pictures that were taken several weeks ago.

Playing with Cole on the steps:











Natalie wasn't feeling well this day...Cole didn't leave her side:


Playing before dinner: